All right people, brace yourself for a particularly long post. I started writing and just wrote and wrote.
IN SUPPORT OF INDIAN CORRUPTION
Everyone has this fixed idea about corrupt people who take bribes. They are painted as CROOKED, BAD, MEAN and EVIL. To put it in one word SATAN himself. Even I felt the same about them till I stumbled upon the TRUTH and this is the reason I wish to stand for t...hese “innocent silent sufferers”. I shall now proceed to negate certain charges against this class of people (Bribe takers) who, I shall henceforth refer to as TIPs (TRUE INDIAN PATRIOTS).
Charge 1 – PAISA KHAYA HAI – The charge itself is wrong! How can someone eat money? I agree paper currency is soft and pleasant smelling and some of the TIPs do have faces and bodies like cows and buffaloes but the similarity ends there. They just look like them, they can’t eat paper like them!!
Charge 2 – PAISA KHAYA PAR KAAM NAHI KIYA – Aha! So does this mean that if the poor fellow (TIP) had done your job you would have kept quiet? How mean of you! Galat Kaam karo tum aur bhukte vo bechara!!! And did you bother to find out why he took money and still didn’t do your job? After he met you (and reluctantly took your money, if I may add) he realised what a hero you were for your family and friends. Now he didn’t want them to know that you couldn’t do your job yourself and so to save your name from being sullied he didn’t do YOUR job. That in doing so, he went through severe mental torture is conveniently not known to you. All this trouble to save YOUR image.
Charge 3 – PAISA KHA KE MAZE KAR RAHA HAI. BADI, BADI GADIYON MEIN GHOOMTA HAI, BIG 5 STAR HOTELS MEIN RAHTA HAI – You see that the TIP moves around in big cars and puts up in big luxury hotels and resorts but you don’t see the trouble he has to go through. You don’t see the inconvenience he faces in maneuvering through traffic and finding parking space for his Mercs and Jaguars while you easily zip past in your Nano without even caring to look at him. You don’t see that when he attends high class, high end parties and binges on premium liquor, and lazeez tandoori chicken, he is exposing himself to high cholesterol, liver malfunction and avian flu while you are having a ball at home eating dal and roti!! True, he sleeps in air conditioned presidential suites but his heart bleeds for his friends he has left behind in the chawl. All this for YOU.
Charge 4 – PAISA KITNA KHAYEGA? – People say “He already has 6000crores in Swiss banks, aur kitna khayega?” How inconsiderate? The amount of money in the bank is a direct indicator of the kindness stuffed inside the fellow. Aur kitna khayega, indeed! You think he is doing all this for himself? If this was true, he would have stopped at 2000 or 3000crores, right. But he didn’t because the kind soul that he is, he couldn’t say NO to ungrateful people like you who keep forcing him to do THEIR dirty work. Also, in the process of continuing to take money from people, he is helping lesser mortals let go of all their moh-maya and in turn initiating them on the path of MOKSHA. But you would never acknowledge all his sacrifice for YOU.
Charge 5 – PAISA KHATE HUYE PAKDA GAYA, JAIL JAA RAHA HAI ISLIYE RO RAHA HAI – O God! This is the heights of ignorance! You fool, he is not crying because he is caught and is going to jail. He is crying because he will not be able to continue his social service. What will happen to all those who want his help? These thoughts make him cry. A lot like the last scene of SCHINDLER’S LIST where Oskar Schindler weeps when he realizes that there was so much more he could have done for the Jews. So my friend, he is crying for YOU.
Charge 6 – PAISA KHILA KE JAIL SE BAHAR AA GAYA – How life comes full circle! First, you accused the TIP of “eating” money (paisa khaya) and now you say that he “fed” money (paisa khilaya)!! Till when will these baseless and false accusations continue? Till his dying day, I guess. Now, for the TRUTH. When in jail, he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to help others but he had faith in GOD. Soon GOD showed him the way and he used his money (that’s right, his OWN money) to come out of jail. He gave money to all those who conspired to put him in jail so that they could see the inner PURE purpose of his seemingly blatant wrongdoings. How selfless and forgiving! Some saw it instantly and those who couldn’t were given more money and suddenly they could see everything crystal clear. They released him from jail and vowed to assist him in his noble task. Now I hope you understand why would someone leave the serene and hassle free jail environment and return to this cruel world. That’s right, for YOU.
Hence, I would say a TIP is brave, innocent, forgiving, patriotic but lonely.
BRAVE – because he takes all the risks and endures all the barbs.
INNOCENT – because he doesn’t know of all the crap you talk about him behind his back.
KIND HEARTED & FORGIVING – because when you need him again, he will take your money and do your dirty work again even when he knows of all the crap you will talk about him behind his back.
PATRIOTIC – because he is doing all this for his country so that the world doesn’t say that “Is desh mein kuch kaam nahi hota.”
LONELY – because despite the cheerful image that he projects when he lives the high life, he is actually a very lonely man. He weeps in silence and only takes solace in the fact that GOD has chosen him for this great task.
So dear readers, the next time you talk ill of a TIP remember all that I have talked about. He is the milkman of human kindness, he is the one who just grins and bears the pain for you. FOR YOUR TOMORROW, HE GIVES HIS TODAY.
IN SUPPORT OF INDIAN CORRUPTION
Everyone has this fixed idea about corrupt people who take bribes. They are painted as CROOKED, BAD, MEAN and EVIL. To put it in one word SATAN himself. Even I felt the same about them till I stumbled upon the TRUTH and this is the reason I wish to stand for t...hese “innocent silent sufferers”. I shall now proceed to negate certain charges against this class of people (Bribe takers) who, I shall henceforth refer to as TIPs (TRUE INDIAN PATRIOTS).
Charge 1 – PAISA KHAYA HAI – The charge itself is wrong! How can someone eat money? I agree paper currency is soft and pleasant smelling and some of the TIPs do have faces and bodies like cows and buffaloes but the similarity ends there. They just look like them, they can’t eat paper like them!!
Charge 2 – PAISA KHAYA PAR KAAM NAHI KIYA – Aha! So does this mean that if the poor fellow (TIP) had done your job you would have kept quiet? How mean of you! Galat Kaam karo tum aur bhukte vo bechara!!! And did you bother to find out why he took money and still didn’t do your job? After he met you (and reluctantly took your money, if I may add) he realised what a hero you were for your family and friends. Now he didn’t want them to know that you couldn’t do your job yourself and so to save your name from being sullied he didn’t do YOUR job. That in doing so, he went through severe mental torture is conveniently not known to you. All this trouble to save YOUR image.
Charge 3 – PAISA KHA KE MAZE KAR RAHA HAI. BADI, BADI GADIYON MEIN GHOOMTA HAI, BIG 5 STAR HOTELS MEIN RAHTA HAI – You see that the TIP moves around in big cars and puts up in big luxury hotels and resorts but you don’t see the trouble he has to go through. You don’t see the inconvenience he faces in maneuvering through traffic and finding parking space for his Mercs and Jaguars while you easily zip past in your Nano without even caring to look at him. You don’t see that when he attends high class, high end parties and binges on premium liquor, and lazeez tandoori chicken, he is exposing himself to high cholesterol, liver malfunction and avian flu while you are having a ball at home eating dal and roti!! True, he sleeps in air conditioned presidential suites but his heart bleeds for his friends he has left behind in the chawl. All this for YOU.
Charge 4 – PAISA KITNA KHAYEGA? – People say “He already has 6000crores in Swiss banks, aur kitna khayega?” How inconsiderate? The amount of money in the bank is a direct indicator of the kindness stuffed inside the fellow. Aur kitna khayega, indeed! You think he is doing all this for himself? If this was true, he would have stopped at 2000 or 3000crores, right. But he didn’t because the kind soul that he is, he couldn’t say NO to ungrateful people like you who keep forcing him to do THEIR dirty work. Also, in the process of continuing to take money from people, he is helping lesser mortals let go of all their moh-maya and in turn initiating them on the path of MOKSHA. But you would never acknowledge all his sacrifice for YOU.
Charge 5 – PAISA KHATE HUYE PAKDA GAYA, JAIL JAA RAHA HAI ISLIYE RO RAHA HAI – O God! This is the heights of ignorance! You fool, he is not crying because he is caught and is going to jail. He is crying because he will not be able to continue his social service. What will happen to all those who want his help? These thoughts make him cry. A lot like the last scene of SCHINDLER’S LIST where Oskar Schindler weeps when he realizes that there was so much more he could have done for the Jews. So my friend, he is crying for YOU.
Charge 6 – PAISA KHILA KE JAIL SE BAHAR AA GAYA – How life comes full circle! First, you accused the TIP of “eating” money (paisa khaya) and now you say that he “fed” money (paisa khilaya)!! Till when will these baseless and false accusations continue? Till his dying day, I guess. Now, for the TRUTH. When in jail, he was sad that he wouldn’t be able to help others but he had faith in GOD. Soon GOD showed him the way and he used his money (that’s right, his OWN money) to come out of jail. He gave money to all those who conspired to put him in jail so that they could see the inner PURE purpose of his seemingly blatant wrongdoings. How selfless and forgiving! Some saw it instantly and those who couldn’t were given more money and suddenly they could see everything crystal clear. They released him from jail and vowed to assist him in his noble task. Now I hope you understand why would someone leave the serene and hassle free jail environment and return to this cruel world. That’s right, for YOU.
Hence, I would say a TIP is brave, innocent, forgiving, patriotic but lonely.
BRAVE – because he takes all the risks and endures all the barbs.
INNOCENT – because he doesn’t know of all the crap you talk about him behind his back.
KIND HEARTED & FORGIVING – because when you need him again, he will take your money and do your dirty work again even when he knows of all the crap you will talk about him behind his back.
PATRIOTIC – because he is doing all this for his country so that the world doesn’t say that “Is desh mein kuch kaam nahi hota.”
LONELY – because despite the cheerful image that he projects when he lives the high life, he is actually a very lonely man. He weeps in silence and only takes solace in the fact that GOD has chosen him for this great task.
So dear readers, the next time you talk ill of a TIP remember all that I have talked about. He is the milkman of human kindness, he is the one who just grins and bears the pain for you. FOR YOUR TOMORROW, HE GIVES HIS TODAY.
For your entertainment please!
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